Stunted
by Schumaklaab
Summary: Gail struggles with the implications of the kiss she shared with Holly in the interrogation room. As she battles with her emotions Holly stands on the sidelines.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So I am not a writer, I felt I should make that clear. I am a scientist who is better at writing a journal article than I am at any kind of fictional prose, but hey, what's wrong with trying something different? **

**Anyway, this will be a multi-chapter story, and will build slowly. If you have the patience for that, read on!**

* * *

The beating of her heart hadn't slowed in the minutes since she had kissed her. She could still feel the thump of every beat on her ribcage, and could hear the deafening rush of blood.

She had kissed Holly. Her newest friend. Her best friend. Social convention was not her area of expertise, however she was fairly confident that sharing an intimate kiss in a darkened interrogation room fell outside of the boundaries of friendship. She knew that her friendship with Holly wasn't like her friendship with her colleagues. For one Holly could take Gail's snarky behaviour, and even took it in her stride. Perhaps it was because Holly fancied the ladies, something Gail had no experience with, but didn't phase her in the least, but Gail had always looked at her friendship with Holly as if she were one of the boys. Maybe some wires had crossed somewhere. She reminded herself that as far as she knew she wasn't a lesbian, so the kiss had been an awkward mistake in a high pressure situation with a friend.

After stumbling into Oliver in the hallway, Gail felt a deep desire to hole herself up at the closest bar with a bottle of tequila on hand. Instead she had to get out there to protect her friends. To protect and serve, so the motto goes.

She wouldn't give herself time to think about the kiss that they had shared. Even knowing that someone was out there hunting down officers from 15 didn't fully distract her from remembering the moment. That distraction only came as news of Oliver's disappearance reached her. A chill reached her bones as she realised that her partner, the person that no matter what she was supposed to protect, had gone off the radar. The first rule that you learn at academy: Back up your partner. Instead she had let him back up another officer, and he hadn't arrived. What sort of officer, what sort of Peck, lets their partner go into trouble alone?

After a short briefing Peck and Diaz prepared themselves to go back out on the streets. Gail's brother, Steve, was giving her a last minute lecture about staying safe that she brushed off with ease, reminding him that her mother was mostly concerned about protecting the Peck name, not those who actually hold it. An officer was on the line with others in danger, being a Peck wouldn't help them, but being a police officer would.

The jarring buzz of the door being unlocked sounded in the background.

"Gail." She looked up to see Holly striding towards her as she called out her name.

"Holly, hey"

"Hi"

"Hey"

"You said that already"

"Yeah, well it sounded familiar"

"I, uh, just wanted to see you. You know? Take 10 minutes. Lay eyes on you."

As she said this, Holly took a step towards Gail, reaching for her hands for the little comfort she might get from her touch.

Fear crossed into Gail's eyes like a flash. Almost paralysed, all she could do was shake her head, hoping it would communicate everything that she needed it to. Gail wasn't even sure at that moment what she wanted to communicate though. How was she supposed to say that she didn't mean to kiss her? That the kiss didn't mean to Gail what she knew it meant to Holly? How could she communicate that with a simple shake of her head, when she wasn't even sure she believed herself?

Holly broke her out of her reverie as she spoke, "Oh, okay, so that's how we are going to do this?"

Gail wanted to apologise, he resolve cracking at the defeated tone that fell from Holly's lips. The lips that she had known so intimately only a few hours prior. Instead though, she mumbled an affirmation as she turned back towards Diaz, and her brother. As she went to leave Holly grabbed her arm, "Just... Just be careful, okay?"

Gail stepped backwards, away from Holly as she spoke, "I will".

Gail went through the motions for the remainder of her day. As news came over the radio that Ford, Oliver's assailant, and the reason that Officer Price, someone she admittedly had very little time for, was in hospital, had infiltrated 15 Division she froze. Seconds later she moved into action, nodding towards Diaz to take the passenger seat in the squad they shared.

The crackle of dispatch over the radio was louder than usual, as she tuned out everything else. She tensed in her seat, and her hands tightened against the steering wheel as the words "Officer Down" came through.

She arrived at the station in time to see Andy leap into the back of an ambulance. Was it Nick? She looked around and quickly spotted the man she once convinced herself that she loved. He approached slowly with his head hung low. He opened his mouth, only to close it again, not seeming able to form the words that he needed at that time. Gail pulled him into a hug as he whimpered, "It was Sam. Andy went with him. GSW to the abdomen, we don't know if he'll make it."

Her first response was to call Holly. In spite of her actions earlier in the day, both the kiss and the subsequent reaction at the station as she was headed out to pick up Ford's brother, all she wanted was for Holly to be close. She knew that in a crisis her friend would be there for her. Hopefully she would even be there once she made it clear that the kiss was a mistake. She was sure now, after the stress of the day that she hadn't meant to kiss her. For a brief moment she had mistaken Holly, and their friendship, for something else. Who could blame her? It was a big day.

Once news of Sam's condition came, and it was clear that there would be no further updates for some time, Frank sent the officers home, suggesting without any real conviction that they get some rest before shift started. Tomorrow was a new day and they couldn't afford to be down any more staff.

Holly led Gail out into the carpark towards her car. While unspoken, it was clear that Holly was volunteering to take care of Gail until her shift began, seeing that her friend was beyond exhausted. As Gail, in an almost comatose state, stepped into her vehicle, Holly quietly said, "Yeah, another day. We will talk another day."

* * *

**Review if you want. Or don't. Peer assessment is pretty effective though, so go for it I guess!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I feel I should make it clear that updates will not generally come in on a daily basis, however in this instance I felt an update could come early, even though it is alarmingly short. Thanks for the follows, the favourites, and the reviews. Also thanks to those who just read it. **

* * *

Stepping across the threshold into Holly's apartment, Gail took a brief moment to take everything in. The modern style of the apartment fit well with Holly's personality. If Gail had ever taken the time to imagine what the apartment were to look like, it probably wouldn't have been that different.

Bookshelves were packed to bursting wih meticulously organised textbooks and journals. One shelf had a haphazard assortment of novels that looked well loved, the only disorganised part amongst all of the books.

Holly led Gail towards the couch, settling down and patting the space beside her, inviting her to get comfortable. They hadn't spoken a word on the drive from the hospital, Holly choosing to give Gail some time alone with her thoughts.

"Gail, sorry, I'm just wondering if you wanted to take my bed for the night? I can sleep out here."

Holly's attempt to fill what was becoming an overwhelming silence fell on deaf ears. She chose to simply provide the little comfort that she could and softly placed her left hand on Gail's knee, not looking up as she did so.

After some time Holly moved to get up, however at this Gail grabbed her hand, pulling her back down beside her. Holly looked over to her to see tears staining the porcelain skin of her cheeks. Instead Holly reached over and pulled a fleece throw over the both of them, off what she could to the broken woman beside her.

A short snigger broke the silence, as Gail spoke spoke for the first time since at the hospital, "Ha, fleece, I called it! Now where are the backpacks?"

Holly decided not to answer, just smiled over at her and nodded down at the pillow sitting at the end of the couch. Not talking was easy right now, and they both needed easy. To put the day behind them and start fresh.

Morning came too soon for Gail, and with it the reality of what the day meant. Today she was to return to the station where just the day before an officer was shot and left in a critical condition. Today she had to face Holly, in the cold light of day, and explain that the kiss they shared didn't hold the promise of a relationship or anything other than friendship. She would do anything to avoid having that conversation.

She looked to the end of the couch to see Holly sitting up, glasses askew on her face, looking peaceful. Gail knew this was her chance to escape, to get out before Holly woke. She slowly took the blanket off her and slipped her boots on that she had absent-mindedly thrown under the coffee table. She had slept in her uniform, feeling fortunate that she had a spare in her locker at work.

She hadn't performed the walk of shame in some time, however this experience, as she worked to ensure that she left the building without alerting Holly felt eerily similar to those times in her youth.

The chilled air of the Toronto streets helped to clear Gail's mind while she took the short walk to the station from Holly's apartment. The crunch of the snow beneath her boots with each step provided the distraction she needed as she picked up her pace as the station came into view.

She had almost an hour until parade, meaning she had ample time to shower and change her uniform. A Peck couldn't be seen so dishevelled, her mother's words striking her suddenly. Resentment boiled up in her as she undressed, throwing her used uniform into her locker and pulling out the fresh one. She turned the handle of the shower unit to almost scalding hot and stepped beneath the steady stream, letting the stress of the day prior wash away.

As parade drew closer more officers started to fill the change room. Traci came beside Gail at her locker and waited to be acknowledged.

"Yes?" Gail finally broke.

"I just wanted to tell you that Sam is stable, and Dov still hasn't heard anything more about Chloe."

"Look, I'm sorry. Thanks for telling me." Gail diverted her eyes from Traci as she said, "And Oliver?"

Traci paused briefly, taking a sharp breath in, "He is... worse. They say he suffered a closed traumatic brain injury and has reduced cognitive awareness. I was told to pass it on."

The mood in parade was somber, the evidence of yesterday's events still present throughout the station. Frank reminded them that today was like any other day. They had a job to perform, and they were down officers, so they had to be even more alert.

As Gail rushed to her squad after receiving her assignment her phone vibrated against her thigh. She unlocked the vehicle and as she waited for Diaz to catch up she pulled out her cell.

**Holly, 08.08**_ -_ _So, you left this morning without waking me. Are we meeting for lunch?_

Gail chose to ignore the text for now, instead doubling and triple checking her side and rear view mirrors until Diaz arrived.

Chris stepped into the passenger side of the squad, nodding a hello at Gail. he looked gaunt, probably a reflection of Gail's condition. Dispatch came through alerting them to a domestic disturbance nearby.

"15-27, responding."

* * *

**How about that peer assessment? **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys, really sorry about how long it took for this update to come in. Have had an extremely busy month. Thought I'd let you know that I have updated my author profile to include a link to my tumblr if you're interested in hearing me talk about ridiculous things and reblog pretty things. ANYYYYYYYWAY, on with the show!**

* * *

Gail pulled her head from the cool metal of her locker. Shedding the hegemonic shield of her uniform brings her recent days back into her reality.

Traci's gentle knock startled Gail from her thoughts, sparking a sympathetic look from the young detective. She knew of how the stresses of the recent events had taken a toll on Gail that she had done her best to hide from everyone around her. It was normal for Gail to hide her feelings, however the last few days had been stressful for everyone, and she needed to open up to someone soon.

"I don't know if you heard, but Oliver is in surgery. They suspect he may have a small subdural hematoma. The doctor's said that they needed to get to it quickly as he was starting to show symptoms"

Gail simply nodded, taking a seat on the bench behind her. She hung her head low, not wanting Traci to see the fear in her eyes. Oliver was her favourite of her fellow officers, not that she would say that out loud. She couldn't bear to think of anything more happening to him. He talked too much, and liked to share more personal details than she was generally comfortable, but he shared her love of food, and was someone she really looked up to.

"I am going to go to the hospital. Do you want to come? Steve is picking me up soon." Traci spoke quietly, matching the uncomfortable mood that had fallen across the room after she had givne the news.

Gail remained silent, choosing to communicate with a somber nod. She stood, pulling Traci into a rare, but much needed hug.

"C'mon, let's go."

* * *

The ride to Memorial Hospital was awkward, Steve trying to fill the silence with anecdote from his day including a supposedly funny story about a suspect who sent a mass text to a number of people, including a police officer about a large weapons deal that lead to a number of arrests. Apparently he had come into the station a few days prior accompanying his sister, and saved the desk officers number to his phone. Gail listened sporadically, distracted by the hole that her phone was burning in her pocket. Her day had been busy enough that she was able to justify not replying to Holly's concerned text messages.

The domestic disturbance that they had been called to at the start of their shift had turned into a hostage situation that had continued for some time, and had led to a significant amount of paperwork. It seemed that Gail was unable to complete a shift these days without something dramatic occurring. Of course she was used to drama as a cop, but it seemed that things were worse that usual.

As Steve pulled into the parking lot of the hospital he seemed to end his final anecdote, laughing uproariously then taking a look around at his surroundings, a slightly guilty look fell across his face.

"Do you know where the others are waiting Trace?" Steve asked, a darker tone contrasting against his previous light tone that he had in the car.

"Neuro, fifth floor," Traci nodded towards the sign beside the elevator. Gail dragged her feet behind her brother and her friend, not prepared for the news that is awaiting them. She stepped off into the stark, sterile environment of the waiting room. It seemed that some effort had been made to humanise certain elements of the room, with the few magazines and the single mediocre piece of art on the wall. The little touches did not distract from the weighted feelings that were associated with such a place.

A mix of uniformed officers and apparent civilians filled the room, making the room into a bustling environment with with nervous glances and a cacophany of quietly uttered words of comfort.

Within minutes, a doctor, wearing soiled scrubs and a surgical gown moved quicly into the room. Silence fell as every occupant waited with baited breath for the news. From the sea of officers, Celery stepped towards the surgeon. Gail was too far away to head what was being said, however her heart leapt into her throat as Celery broke into tears.

She watched on, fearing the worst, but as a small smile broke across Celery's face, she sighed in relief. Once she had shared her joy with her fellow officers at Oliver making it through the risky surgery, she realised that she could no longer ignore her cell phone, and the many messages that had been left through her day.

_**Holly, 10.23am - Are you okay? Hx**_  
_**Holly, 12.04pm - It is busy at the lab today, will be here late if you want to talk. Hx**_  
_**Holly, 03.40pm - Is there anything I can say that will get you to talk to me? Hx**_  
_**Holly, 05.50pm - I'm sorry.**_

A feeling akin to guilt washed over Gail as she read the initially concerned, and the progressively more hurt text messages from Holly. She replied quickly, trying to assuage her friends feelings while keeping the emotional distance that Gail had come to rely on as her crutch in the last few weeks.

_**Gail, 08.47pm - You don't have anything to be sorry about. I should be. Work was busy today. Am at the hospital now, Olly had surgery.**_

Almost immediately after she hit send the cheesy sound of the Macarena came from the tinny speakers of her phone, the tone she had selected just for Holly after their pseudo-date at Frank and Noelle's wedding. She swiped to accept the call, briefly smiling at the picture onscreen of Holly in her labcoat, proudly holding her 'lunchbox' before her with a grin.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey. Sorry, I just read your message and I wanted to head your voice, you know? Check you're doing okay."

"I am." Gail replied sharply, not really wanting to give anything away.

"Can I see you? Do you need a lift? I can pick you up."

"Steve is here. He can take me home."

"I have made dinner. I know I sound desperate, but I really want to talk to you. I need to see that you're okay as well."

Gail sighed, "I'll come over, but only because I'm hungry, don't read into it. See you in fifteen."

With that she hung up, not waiting on Holly's reply. A quick nod to Steve signified that she was ready to go knowing that Oliver wouldn't wake for hours yet. She appreciated the shorthand that she and her brother had developed over the years.

"Can you take me to Holly's place?"

* * *

**Reviews are nice, but so is you just making it to the end of the chapter, so I'm happy either way! =]**


End file.
